i have spent endless hours of my life in conversation.
conversations about my life; past, present and future. conversations about my relationships; things i love and hate, expectations on others and myself, frustrations and joys. conversations about other people; judging and analyzing their words, actions and intents of their hearts. i have literally taken apart and put people back together in my dialogue. i have loved and hated, rejected and accepted, blessed and cursed. i have been around my world and back again. most of these conversations happened in a sacred place; behind my face. a place where only God can hear me. every thought that passes through my brain connects me to God. He knows every thought.
we as humans are in constant dialogue within ourselves, and most of the time we don't even realize someone else in in the room listening to every unspoken word.
it's funny to me that we put so much effort in controlling our actions and words so we don't offend other people; appearing selfish or arrogant. yet we place very little effort in controlling our thoughts and the content of our hearts. our fear of man has become greater than our fear of God. we have neglected the very place that God dwells to have an appearance of "Godliness". maybe you strive for the appearance of "selflessness, kindness, success, security..." it's meaningless without the life and power of God.
only God knows the thoughts and intents of our hearts...which is both beautiful and terrifying at the same time.
Psalm 139 (NIV)
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely. ...
23 ....Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
thoughts about a "Guy".
there are some things about Jesus that perplex me. things that get under my skin and inside my brain that make me absolutely baffled about who this God...this "Guy" really is. this God; Jesus, who became a guy just like us. it's both simple and complicated; inspiring and confusing. this "Guy" Jesus has a story written in a book most Christians take for granted.
the Bible is the expression of God's heart for His creation. it's a love story, a history book, a memoir of battles and wars. it's full of history and destiny; past, present and future. it captures both the beginning and the end of the story of God. (but really the end is just another beginning which makes me head hurt a little bit.) the Bible is a very difficult book for me. i find it both beautiful and frustrating. it's full of questions without answers and answers without any logical explanations. it's alot to chew on.
Jesus said, "blessed is the man who does not find offense with me." (matt 11:6) i totally get it. Jesus knew that everything He is exists in tension with a fallen humanity. we limit who God can be in our lives by what we understand. it's the things we can't understand that make a relationship with Him difficult.
the more i have searched to understand who God is, the space in my mind fills with questions. how can god be both just and merciful at the same time? grace is not fair, and justice is not always merciful. he is a God that is untouchable yet so close we can touch Him. God exists in a realm of understanding where He can be all of the above, all at the same time, and be the sovereign God of creation. there is no fault in Him. i, on the other hand, do not exist fully in that realm, and i have to choose not to be offended at the things my mind cannot grasp. i have to 'let go' of the things i can't understand and 'hold on' to the things i can't understand L at the same time.
being offended is a choice. somehow we have to find a way to wrestle through the unknowable and hold on to a God who can be known. a God who knows us, and still likes us. for me this defines a simple, complex thing we call "faith".
not all of the people who followed Jesus were really "followers". The Bible tells a story of Jesus and His disciples feeding 5,000 men and their families in a single afternoon using only a few loaves of bread and a couple fish. it's an amazing story about the miracle and provision of God for the masses that came to hear His teaching. the miracle is indeed marvelous but my brain wanders down a different path. i imagine walking through the crowd, gazing into the faces of all who were in attendance. what drew them there? what dialogues were going on behind their faces as they listened and watched this "Guy"? were they really partaking of the "Bread of Life" as they took food from the baskets? or were they feeding their own presuppositions and limited understanding of who this "Guy" really was? what was the intent of the hearts?
maybe they were captivated. maybe they thought He was a freak or a magician. maybe they were offended and wanted fuel for their fire. my imagination runs with thought of a galilean "paparazzi" or "associated press" looking for their next headline. whatever the case may be, that crowd was filled with curiosities, mockeries, judgments, faith, desperation... Jesus was not unaware. He knew that everything He was fought with everything humanity is. when He told them not to be offended; He was talking about things deeper than religious and political systems. He was talking about laying down our limited understanding of who we are and what we were created for to embrace a God who can open the understanding of our hearts.
"faith" is messy, it's risky, and it's rarely based on something you can see. i think the same words could be used to try and describe the word "relationship".
"those on a quest for truth are only trying to figure out who can be trusted."
(e.r. mcmanus)
Jesus was not a magician, a fortune teller, a politician or a terrorist. He is God, who became a "Guy" because this God was willing to lay down everything for the slim chance that maybe we would receive Him. this "Guy" was beaten beyond recognition, dragged through the streets, and eventually hung on a cross by many of the same people He fed on the mountainside.
"Blessed is the man who does not find offense in Me." ~Jesus
the Bible is the expression of God's heart for His creation. it's a love story, a history book, a memoir of battles and wars. it's full of history and destiny; past, present and future. it captures both the beginning and the end of the story of God. (but really the end is just another beginning which makes me head hurt a little bit.) the Bible is a very difficult book for me. i find it both beautiful and frustrating. it's full of questions without answers and answers without any logical explanations. it's alot to chew on.
Jesus said, "blessed is the man who does not find offense with me." (matt 11:6) i totally get it. Jesus knew that everything He is exists in tension with a fallen humanity. we limit who God can be in our lives by what we understand. it's the things we can't understand that make a relationship with Him difficult.
the more i have searched to understand who God is, the space in my mind fills with questions. how can god be both just and merciful at the same time? grace is not fair, and justice is not always merciful. he is a God that is untouchable yet so close we can touch Him. God exists in a realm of understanding where He can be all of the above, all at the same time, and be the sovereign God of creation. there is no fault in Him. i, on the other hand, do not exist fully in that realm, and i have to choose not to be offended at the things my mind cannot grasp. i have to 'let go' of the things i can't understand and 'hold on' to the things i can't understand L at the same time.
being offended is a choice. somehow we have to find a way to wrestle through the unknowable and hold on to a God who can be known. a God who knows us, and still likes us. for me this defines a simple, complex thing we call "faith".
not all of the people who followed Jesus were really "followers". The Bible tells a story of Jesus and His disciples feeding 5,000 men and their families in a single afternoon using only a few loaves of bread and a couple fish. it's an amazing story about the miracle and provision of God for the masses that came to hear His teaching. the miracle is indeed marvelous but my brain wanders down a different path. i imagine walking through the crowd, gazing into the faces of all who were in attendance. what drew them there? what dialogues were going on behind their faces as they listened and watched this "Guy"? were they really partaking of the "Bread of Life" as they took food from the baskets? or were they feeding their own presuppositions and limited understanding of who this "Guy" really was? what was the intent of the hearts?
maybe they were captivated. maybe they thought He was a freak or a magician. maybe they were offended and wanted fuel for their fire. my imagination runs with thought of a galilean "paparazzi" or "associated press" looking for their next headline. whatever the case may be, that crowd was filled with curiosities, mockeries, judgments, faith, desperation... Jesus was not unaware. He knew that everything He was fought with everything humanity is. when He told them not to be offended; He was talking about things deeper than religious and political systems. He was talking about laying down our limited understanding of who we are and what we were created for to embrace a God who can open the understanding of our hearts.
"faith" is messy, it's risky, and it's rarely based on something you can see. i think the same words could be used to try and describe the word "relationship".
"those on a quest for truth are only trying to figure out who can be trusted."
(e.r. mcmanus)
Jesus was not a magician, a fortune teller, a politician or a terrorist. He is God, who became a "Guy" because this God was willing to lay down everything for the slim chance that maybe we would receive Him. this "Guy" was beaten beyond recognition, dragged through the streets, and eventually hung on a cross by many of the same people He fed on the mountainside.
"Blessed is the man who does not find offense in Me." ~Jesus
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