it is good.

I have done a horrific job keeping this blog going. 

Life happens and you start to think that you best find a way to keep track of it or you just might lose it. That was what I used to think, 5 years ago, when I started this blog.  I had always loved to write and finally decided it was time to "make it official" and start a blog.  I loved it, for awhile. I had space to put my ramblings and complex ideas and I loved it. But that, was then. 

Something has happened to me in the past few year.  I thought for a minute that maybe I had lost the inspiration to dream, to imagine, to write.  I have been so busy getting caught up in the rhythms of life; my husband, my family, friendships, church, relationships that have come and gone and all of the other things that have hitchhiked their way into this thing called life. I haven't had the time to process and think about things like I used to, let alone have time to write about them.

I have frequently come back to my blog, opened up a new post and began to process the things that have inspired me over the past two years, but none of them have been published. Those posts are about a paragraph each,  just a couple verses and a thought or two. I put them there so I wouldn't lose them but just haven't had the time to really unpack any of them. It's funny because I used to fill many hours of my day in deep places, thinking, processing, digging deep. I used to dream and imagine and hope so many things.  Every time I come back I look at all of those "unpublished" unfinished posts I've had this unsettling feeling. I began to wonder "Where did that Amanda go, did she get lost somewhere along the way?"

But then it hits me. I haven't gone anywhere.  The hours and hours I used to spend 'imagining and dreaming and hoping' are filled with the things I had been dreaming, imagining and hoping for.

For the first time in my life I have dug deep and taken root in this thing called life. It isn't exactly as I imagined it would be, at least not in this season of being at home, taking care of my family and other kiddos in our life every day.  This season is not filled with plane tickets and leading teams and mission projects.  There aren't any conferences to administrate or messages to prepare. Life has changed and the beautiful thing is I don't have the time to dream and imagine and hope for the plans God has for my life in the same way because I am living them, right now; and it is good.

It isn't that I have lost passion or pursuit,  I still have dreams and destiny tucked away in my heart for when those seasons come, and I am confident they will come around. In the meantime I am going to sit back, relax, and BE in this place; living the dream.  All the while continuing to ask God to open my eyes and use my life any way He sees fit.

And just maybe, I'll find the time to write about it again before 2017.   ;)